Memphis Families Face the Holidays with Mixed Emotions
As families in Memphis gather for the upcoming Thanksgiving celebrations, many are also grappling with the heavy heart of loss. The holidays can be a tough time, especially for those who’ve faced the death of a loved one. One such mother, LaVonda Henderson, is sharing her journey of coping and remembrance during this challenging season.
A Tribute at the Table
LaVonda’s oldest son, Larry Thorn, was tragically taken from her in January 2023, a loss that has left a profound impact on her life. Larry’s life was cut short due to a gunshot wound, found behind a church in South Memphis. This Thanksgiving marks the second time she’ll be without him, and it’s a difficult milestone.
In a touching tribute, LaVonda revealed that she plans to place a picture of her son at the dinner table this year. “It will be just like we’ll have him there with us,” she shared with a somber smile, hinting at the bittersweet nature of her family gathering.
Facing Old Demons
Thanksgiving has brought up a whirlpool of emotions for LaVonda, especially since she recently came face to face with the individual charged in Larry’s case. This encounter stirred feelings of anger, sadness, and disbelief as she reflected on the enormity of her loss during a time meant for gratitude and togetherness.
“At least he can call [his mother] — or she can video or however they do from jail — and [they can] chat and say ‘Happy Thanksgiving,’ but I’ll never get that again,” LaVonda expressed, capturing the grief that so many families can relate to during these times.
Seeking Help for SAD
For many individuals, the holiday season can also trigger what’s known as Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD), a condition that affects roughly five percent of adults across the nation. To help combat feelings of depression and isolation that can amplify during the winter months, therapist Tamatha Borkcom from Kindred Place shared some practical advice.
Borkcom suggests that individuals should “get moving” through exercise, avoid isolating themselves, and *actively seek out moments of joy*. Simple pleasures, such as a favorite comedy or musical, can help to break through the haze of sadness.
The Path to Healing
According to Borkcom, these recommendations aren’t just arbitrary—they’re foundational steps towards healing. She emphasizes the importance of self-awareness: “Nobody else controls your behavior,” she said. “You are the person who can best implement the strategies that are going to work for you.” This empowering message underscores the idea that while grief and sadness can feel overwhelming, there are pathways to relief and recovery.
Borkcom also noted that nearly 50 percent of adults manage some degree of SAD symptoms for up to half the year. This highlights the importance of being proactive about one’s mental health, especially during the holiday season.
A Shared Experience
LaVonda’s story is one among many, as countless families navigate the ups and downs of the holiday season. While it’s a time for feasting and giving thanks, it’s also a period where the absence of loved ones is felt even more acutely.
As families in Memphis sit down for their Thanksgiving meals, many will be honoring those who are no longer with them. Whether it’s through a simple photo at the dinner table or sharing a memory, these acts of remembrance allow families to bond in their shared experiences of loss.
With a renewed focus on mental health and well-being, hopefully, the season can still bring moments of joy even amidst the sorrow. After all, it’s the bringing together of family, memories, and love that defines the spirit of Thanksgiving.
